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A Stepmother, is a status that is sometimes scary. Negative images already embedded some women mind, that stepmothers are wicked and cunning always portrayed. Often, too, the child thinks her stepmother is an enemy or competitor, as in a family fun competition will occur, snatch the attention and love of a father and husband.

Yes, became the wife of a widower, at once became the stepmother of the child’s birth are the two real things that will be received, whoever you are who are in this position now. And before you know the wise advice, know well in advance of your role as a ‘new mothers’ of children.

Know your position
You are not the biological mother, no matter how hard you try to get closer to them. Biological mother would always get a special place in her/ his heart, like his father’s love. But the reality now, you are the wife of her real father. And wisdom, start slowly but surely you instill in their minds, that they are your children too, who become part of your life and priorities.

Attitude of give and take
Married to a widower who had children, that means you should be able to receive them in one package. Give and take attitude is needed so that you’re far more candid and comfortable and holds the status of married life with her widower.

Approach to his children wisely while you are dating the father. At least you could recognize her/his character, known by the world and be a good friend, not as an enemy to him. This approach is a means of learning to accept each other.

Understanding and tolerance
Understand that a divorce still leaves a deep wound in his soul and trauma resulting in aggressive attitudes or their rejection of “new mother”. Patience is a wise suggestion, and do not make negative attitudes which they show as an excuse to hate or hurt them.

Just look at the glass eyes and their point of view, because it may be some bad things like fighting until the emergence of separation between his parents, still very imprint on the heart to still so difficult for them to accept your presence as a “new mom”

Sincere love
Start learning to accept their existence between you and your husband. This is a good starting even it can be  not easy.  Your sincere attitude is needed, because you have been willing to accept the risks and consequences of marrying a widower with children. Communication and your closeness with their intense, is also a proof that you have been accepted into the “new mother” them.

But the bottom line, do not ever force yourself to replace her position. Absolutely loved them, and let the love flowing as it should. Most importantly you are clear about their limits.

Be a best friend
Initially, they will feel familiar with your presence in their midst, but do not always react to this attitude. A focused approach with an intensive two-way communication is very good. Prepare yourself to be her best friend, who was willing to hear all the stories and sharing. This way,  you can  eliminate all sense of awkward and frightened, and become their best friend.

Being a friend to him, it will feel more comfortable for you, because anyway you can not replace the role of mother in their hearts. When they were unkind, and disrespectful, not necessarily by violence. Provide advice and exhortation to be appropriate. If it’s already over the limit, discussed immediately with your husband and together seek the best solution for all parties.

Be fair
May be in the future, you will have your own kid, which means family members will increase. This means your children will have a half-brother. In some cases, consciously or not, the injustice of factors appear when you divide your attention and affection to children, either biological children or stepchildren.

In order not to cause jealousies and conflicts fought competition concern, as the stepmother of a wise, wise keep your feelings and concerns to the stepchild. As a child that has begun to accept you as their mother’s presence, do not let the injustices that looks made him sad.

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